Sunday, April 19, 2009

Thou Shalt not practice 'Daggering'

KeelyNetRepresentatives of some hospitals revealed that more men have been fracturing their penises in recent months than any other time in Jamaica. Checks with urologists in some of the country's major hospitals have revealed that the "noticeable increase" in the number of cases where men fracture their members is largely attributed to the men's obsession with daggerin', aka rough sex.

Another surgeon from that facility said the majority of cases that come to the hospital are a result of extremely vigorous sex or, in most recent popular terms, 'daggeration'. "It's possibly daggerin' people tend to have a predisposition to rough sex," the surgeon said.

"(So) during very rigorous intercourse, the penis slips out and in an attempt to ram it back in, the man hits the woman's pubic bone and pops the penis." The doctors could not confirm if any of the cases regarding the broken penis took place when the men were doing the dance version of daggerin' as opposed to rough intercourse.

In a story published last September, Dr Alverston Bailey, a past president of the Medical Association of Jamaica, warned that men who suffered a penile fracture should immediately seek medical assistance as leaving it unattended might cause the penis to be permanently deformed or they might become impotent.

Bailey continued that when the penis was fractured there was a loud popping sound, followed by excruciating pain and significant swelling, causing the penis to appear deformed. He noted that in some cases, blood might be seen coming from the organ.

Yes, I know, human penises don't have bones but apparently the cartilage breaks. Oddly enough that is one of the two key things that indicate humans don't originate from planet earth, but probably came from Mars when we screwed up that homeworld.

Only animals have bones in their penii and if a human is placed in an artificial light environment without any sunlight..such as a cave, the daily cycle will be 25 hours, not 24. Just so happens a Martian day is 25.1 hours which could mean that we originated there. - Source

No comments:

Post a Comment